The conclusion of the Train Truma!
By Olivya:
Hi everyone–
I couldn’t finish the message earlier today because my daughter’s laptop (which I am using now) lost its charge and I had to wait until now to finally finish this message.
After Margie’s phone call, I sat there stunned about the timing of that phone call and the situation I was facing. Although I was sitting there terrified, I kept looking at the lady across from me that was silent and drawn into a ball and praying. I knew she was scared too, so I asked her if she was ok. She started to cry and came over to where I was sitting. She told me this very scary to her and that she was thinking we were going to stay there forever because it was Sunday and this type of problem would take a lot time to resolve before we could get going again. I told her that what people can’t do, God can do and that we needed to believe that He had a solution and was going to help us very soon and that we needed to stay calm and trust Him. I couldn’t believe what was coming out of my mouth—was I talking about having faith and trusting God after all that I had been questioning throughout my trip? Was I really sitting there telling someone else that God would take care of it when only minutes before I was thinking that He was letting me down?
As I was talking to this lady (I don’t know her name…it didn’t seem important at that time for me to know that), I saw the conductor walking towards us and he was speaking into a walkie talkie type phone He stopped to answer a question from someone and then headed towards the area that she and I and about three other people had led to talk about being patient and staying calm. I heard a voice on the radio tell him that we could get moving in about 5 minutes or so. I could not believe it…we were not going to spend the night there and I would be able to get to my stop and see my babies!!!!
The conductor or engineer rushed back to the front of the train and we heard several attempts of starting the engines on the train and they were not working at all and we were all just sitting there holding our breaths and waiting and waiting. After a few minutes, the train jerked as if it was hit by a car and then we heard the engines roaring loud and clear and the lights instantly went on. I was so excited I could hardly stay seated and we all hugged and cried with relief.
The engineer informed us over the speaker that we would be arriving in Newport News, Virginia within 30 minutes and we cheered and hugged again and again!
What I learned from this experience was huge for me. I always think that I have a lot of faith…enough faith to know that God is with me and that His will is all that matters no matter what I plan or want. In those moments that I was filled with fear, His voice was shallow in my heart and I couldn’t find the comfort and the “knowing” that I usually experience while in the middle of a crisis or tragedy. I am usually a take charge type of person and can act pretty calmly in an emergency situation and always go to my “happy place” which is my spirit because that’s where God is in me, but in this situation I was not at all in control of anything and mostly not of my faith.
God wanted me to know that my life is not dependent on my plans or my execution of those plans. My life is owned and paid for by the blood that Jesus spilled on the cross to save me from eternal damnation. He has my pink slip and it is His perfect right to dispose of my life as He sees fit or as He has a purpose for. God’s plans for us are not based on what we think or would like, He does not need our help to bring out His purpose and outcome as He works in our lives. The thing that I find extremely awesome about this experience is the set of unexplained events that God put in front of me to let me know He was with me that were totally lost by me. I kept expecting Him to remove the train from the horrible terrain and scary heights and put it on flat land and I could just sit back and get bored with the miles and miles of dessert, tumbleweeds, trees and farm or flower fields. Instead, he kept me on track (no pun intended) for His purpose and to teach me a valuable lesson. I have always needed God, I needed God during this trip and I will always need God.
I will never be smart enough, wise enough, faithful enough, mature enough, knowledgeable enough, strong enough or secure enough to not need Him or live without depending on Him for my life. I have a very bruised ego and the confidence in me is shot to heck, but I have a clear and definite understanding about the authority and the power that God has and cannot be mistaken or ignored. He is the King and the Master and without Him we are fooling ourselves if we think we can walk without His guidance and His power.
I won’t go as far as saying I am grateful about the experience of this train journey, but I will say that I fully can appreciate that God is not here to do my will or follow my plans and I am so glad that He is in control…always.
Thank you, Jesus for being the pilot, the conductor, the driver and the master over my life.
Psalm 91:1-16
Be Blessed–
Olivya
PS: I am in Virginia Beach Virginia and having the time of my life. My granddaughter Savannah and I spend every day together while her mom and dad are at work and we have a blast together–she is a joy and so worth all I had to go through to get here. The Lord has blessed me with so much, but I truly don’t understand what I could have done right to have Him bestow the most beautiful and wonderful grandchildren and children anyone could ever ask for. I have stated before that my children are not perfect because they are human, young and are finding their own way and traveling their journey, but they have survived incredible challenges and never give up and neither does their mom.
I am sorry about the 3 parts to this, but I really tried to shorten the story, but a lot would have been missed that was vital for me to convey to you the grief and challenges I was going through and the tremendous way that God provided for me.
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